This Week's Dozen Celebrity Truths (That May or May Not Be True)

1. Anna Nicole Smith was born without a human brain.
2. Rex Grossman is a functioning retard.
3. Tawny Kitaen broke her hymen auditioning for the dance scene in the Whitesnake video.
4. The idea for Ludwig van Beethoven's 'Moonlight Sonata' actually came to him after eating an entire can of baked beans. He was also the first person to be called "farty pants" by his buddies.
5. Cecil Fielder was once accused of using performance enhancing drugs. Doctors
would later find out that it was just barbecue spare ribs and Schlitz.
6. Samuel L. Jackson suffer from Voice Immodulation (aka - van Orton's syndrome).
7. 'Stary Wars' character Yoda was actually played by a benign tumor removed from
Rosie O'Donnell's anal crevasse.
8. The mole on Robert De Niro's right cheek was once considered over Ben Affleck to
star in a major motion picture.
9. Paris Hilton was born a freak. She leads people to believe that she has a dog;
when in fact her thumb just looks like one. That's why it appears as though she has a dog on her arm all the time.
10. Jay Leno can only count to sixty-seven.
11. Morgan Freeman narrated every movie made in the 1990's.
12. Colin Powell is not black, he is actually just very tan.

Thanks again for tuning in. See you next week with more Celebrity Truths.

This Week's Dozen Celebrity Truths (That May or May Not Be True)

1. Having being born without one, Tom Brady's chin serves as his anal cavity.
2. John Mellencamp's "his Is Our Country" is actually a cover of a Native American
pride song written shortly after they traded the nation for a jar of magic beans.
3. Rosie O'Donnell is boneless.
4. Proving ever more that her ass is overpowering, Jennifer Lopez's ass power comes
from taking talent away from her lovers. (i.e.-Ben Affleck, P. Diddy, that dancer
guy, etc.)
5. Stevie Wonder is not really blind. He uses that as an excuse to look at nude
women, and to get free meals at Sonic.
6. Marylin Manson had is 7th and 8th ribs removed so he could perform fellatio on
himself.
7. Further proving how crazy she really is, Joumana Kidd (wife of NBA star Jason
Kidd) severed her husband's penis and had it surgically attached to herself.
8. To help prepare for his role as Johnny Cash, Joaquin Pheonix dug up the legend's
corpse and lived with it for 2 months. "Having conversations with his corpse
really helped me prepare for this role. Said Pheonix. "I also kept some of the
bones. But don't tell anyone, okay? Thank you."
9. By simply dating Paris Hilton after impregnating his ex-college girlfriend, Matt
Leinart's unborn child now has 11 forms of STDs.
10. Vinny Testeverde was born with four testicles. And he still sucks at football.
11. Michael Richards is actually a very light-skinned black woman.
12. Dennis Haysbert has starred in every baseball movie ever made, ever.

Thank you for visiting Computers Are The Wave of the Future's Dozen Celebrity Truths. We'll see you next week with twelve more absolutely (possibly) truths (lies).

This Week's Dozen Celebrity Truths (That May or May Not Be True)

1. Since birth, Mr. T has never had a hair cut
2. Angelina Jolie's lips were once the labia of the world's largest beefalo
3. Terrel Owens has officially been disowned by both his parents and blacks
4. Tommy Lee once used his penis as a drumstick in concert
5. John Tesh is the only known human to have once bitch-slapped Jesus Christ
6. Rosie O'Donnell is the biggest bitch in the entire universe (scientific fact)
7. Abe Vagoda is still a virgin
8. Frank (no Sylvester)Stallone was originally cast as Rocky Balboa in Rocky V,
but had to back out due to a scheduling conflict
9. Britney Spears was once considered attractive
10. Tom Cruise has never been able to wear an, "I'm huge in Japan" t-shirt (for both
religious and physical reasons)
11. "Larry King Live" started in 44 B.C.
12. Bryan Adams is currently no longer welcome in either Canada or the United
States. He resides directly on the border between both nations.